Sleep, it's optional

I can't really seem to hit the sack right now so I thought I would talk to you folks a little bit about dating.

It seems to me that I should have fully moved on by now and have at least made a passing attempt at starting a relationship. I've been single since January of 06'. Making this probably the longest stretch since middle school that I haven't been dating. I think 18 months is long enough to start getting back into the game huh?

I realize that the fact that I've had confidence issues has turned a quite a few people off. I understand being a guy who is prone to instances of both extreme self-doubt and delusions of grandeur is not in any way an attractive quality. However, I am confident that I am fixing these problems. Come next fall it will be interesting to see how I handle trying to get back on the market.

I often wonder about the mistakes I made in past relationships. I've probably monday-morning quarterbacked every single one, trying to find an answer to a question that has eluded people far smarter than me. Fear plays a part, fear of intimacy, fear of controlling or being controlled. I think it may all come down to the simple fact that if you don't have your act together, how are you supposed to handle the weight of two becoming one?

Mimi, in RENT, said that she was "looking for baggage that goes with mine." When you can find someone who can begin to understand where you are coming from, it makes the future journey so much easier. I think next time, I'll start by looking for matching baggage.

Love Heals (Facebook Link)

Do you care? Do you think you care?

Live 8
Live Aid
Farm Aid
Live Earth
Live Farm the 8 Earth's Aid

I don't mean to dismiss the contributions to society that these mega-concerts do but it does say something about our culture that we consider the best way to discuss global warming is to wrap the message around massive concerts. Even the future of our planet has to have some entertainment damnit!

I finally am encourage by my generation. We got this massive influx of technology at a very young age and now we're finally starting the baby step towards using it for good and not just porn and music downloads. We're starting the inevitable war against our parents' generation and we really have only one person to thank for our increasing awareness.

George W. Bush

I used to defend Bush. Back in high school I was of the opinion that he was unfairly picked on and he was stuck in a situation that no one could have done better in. Now, I honestly think anyone in the SEC office could run the country better than him. Along with Mr. "What Branch Am I Again?" Cheney he has managed to unite almost the whole country AGAINST him. I thought it would take a draft to unite the youth movement, but all he needed to do was put MY friends and many other people's friends, neighbors, and siblings in harm's way for no clear goal and no positive outcome. When I read about those we lose in war it makes me want to work hard to make sure the rest of them get home safe. Thank you Mr. Bush, for proving me wrong and getting gen Y to work.

In other news...

The counseling is going amazing well. We're getting to the core issues and I'm already starting to see improvements in how I deal in crowds. The next few sessions should continue to show progress and I'm really hopeful that I will not have the problems I had last year pop back up again.

The script is now in it's third revision (currently 2nd Draft 2nd Revision.) I think we should have the script locked by August 1st so I can send out feelers for casting before I even reach Austin. My plan is to start shooting at the SEC office almost right out of the gate so we can build momentum for the harder shooting later on. Other than that no real tidbits on that project. Though don't be surprised if you see a new YouTube video before leaving Ohio.

Write on my Honesty Box folks. It might brighten up a bad day, you never know.

Sunny Hours (Facebook Link)

When the mind is fractured,

It's time for...

Bits and Pieces

Thursday I had my first visit with my counselor here in Ohio. The meeting, even as a first step "evaluation", was very helpful in looking at a few things. I can't really predict what we're going to work on but I will say that we talked a lot about the fact that there is almost two Michael's. Before 7th grade there was only the shy, introspective Michael, and then afterwards came the outgoing, very loud and dramatic Michael. I've been thinking about this for a couple of years but I still don't understand why it is. I just hope we don't kill the dramatic Michael just before Madrigal. :)

The script for "Musings from Austin, Texas" is now on it's second draft. I let my mom read through the first draft and she gave a few suggestions, one of which was to completely re-vamp half the script. So that's what I'm doing, completely rewriting the second act, removing a character, and trying to freshen up some of the others. I may finish it up on Sunday but I'm expecting to use some of my July 4th vacation time to do so. I'm also thinking about calling up some friends of the female persuasion to help rewrite some lines. I'll be honest, I can't write women, I suck at it.

Piracy is a hobby of mine. Having two modded consoles and access to some primo download sites lets me save some money on games. But piracy ain't free folks. Modchips, installation, blank media and other accessories add up. So when I discovered that my stack on blank DVD's wasn't burning my Wii games right I was ticked. I went down to Best Buy and got me an amazing deal. Verbatim 25-pack of DVD+R for $8.99. Right next to that was Verbatim 50-packs for $29.99. So I bought two of the 25's for a little under 20 and went home and did some testing. Sure enough, they burn the Wii games just fine. Now I just have to pray I don't get banned from Xbox Live before Halo 3.

Die-Hard 4. See it with your brain turned off and disregard 1-3 and you'll get a kick out of it. I'll give it 2.5 stars out of 4.

Who's That Guy? (Facebook Link)

The Alamo Drafthouse Blog-a-Thon: Nilbog is Goblin Spelled Backwards!

When the word came out that Jette Kernion (the go-to Austin guy at Cinematical.com) was asking for Alamo Drafthouse memories in honor of the closing of the Alamo downtown, I thought about what one moment defined the Alamo experience to me.

Was it seeing my girlfriend at the time woo a crowd of rollergirls to a stunning rendition of hopelessly devoted to you?

Was it playing Halo 2 on the massive screen and yelling obscenities without one complaint?

Was it any of those amazing moments while volunteering at SXSW like when I got on the "This Film is Not Yet Rated" DVD?

Nah. None of those come close to the moment last fall when me and a group of amazing friends went to a midnight screening of Troll 2.



I had first watched Troll 2 when I was around 8 or 9. I was channel surfing one Saturday morning when I came upon Cinemax. I started watching it and I couldn't really tell that the movie was bad until the young boy defeated the goblins by eating a double-decker sandwich. Even at 9, I could tell that killing goblins with bologna was not exactly the most cinematic of ideas.

Fast foward 10 years and I'm at a Weird Wednesday with my good friend Sierra. We're all walking out after the movie when the host that night says "Oh! We're playing Troll 2 soon!"

My jaw hit the floor.

I hadn't seen that movie in 10 years and yet the title still was stuck in my head just because of its pure badness. I told everyone I could that they should prepare for Troll 2. The day of the screening comes and I'm thinking it's going to be a regular Terror Thursday. I check the website and my jaw drops again. Now by this time I am looking at a) a swollen jaw and b) a sold out screening because they are bringing cast members!

THE CAST OF TROLL 2 EXISTS!?!

These people are human? Get outta town. With the acting I had saw I would have assumed incomplete robots. I start letting even more of my friends know about the screening, trying to get a posse to see this because I know it will blow them away. Finally, I think we got about 10 people to come to the Alamo. We're waiting in line when the dad from the movie comes out to talk to the people in the line. There's a camera behind him and we later find out, as we're signing the releases, that they are working on a doc about the cult following. The guy is truly a nice fellow and I enjoy telling him that this movie has already scarred me for life.

The screening was pure Alamo. Midnight, school night, packed house, free cookies and milk, Q&A. All the little things that make the drafthouse the best theater I've ever been to. I get to ask the cast a question, got some goblin masks, but most importantly, share this amazing movie and this amazing screening with a big group of friends. When I look at that night I see why I love living in Austin, and why I love my friends.

I'll miss the downtown location, but as long as I can take the 1 or the 5 to the Ritz, and as long as they keep showing the movies that nobody else will touch, then I will continue to be there as much as possible.

100 Posts, A Million Memories

Sunday was a historic day. A fantastic day.

And it was also father's day. Call your dad(s) if you haven't.

This is a two part post. Part one is about the newest project from Five Donkey Films. Part two is about the future of the blog and the future for me.

So I can finally reveal a few things about the script. The official title, and the one that will most likely stick this time, is "Musings From Austin, Texas"

Yeah, I named it after the blog. The reason being that the script really reflects that kind of spirit that the blog represents, a mixture of heartfelt emotion and overwhelming ideas about life. The script is a simple story about Ameer and I, on the last day of finals in May 2008. It's about friendship, it's about courage, it's about finding it in yourself to do the impossible. It's also funny.

When the script started coming together over this past month I decided that since the script is over 20 pages it's right around the size of a festival short, actually it's a bit longer, but still inside the length limits. This means that I am considering sending it out to local and regional film festivals to see if we are progressing. In order to do this though I had to sacrifice my massive music collection for the soundtrack and seek out music that was cleared for use. That means using stuff like creative commons and public domain music, but I'm not too keen on that stuff, so I called up some friends.

The following artists are allowing their music to be used for FREE in "Musings From Austin, Texas"
Kaare Egedahl
People Machine
0 for 7

That gives me over two albums worth of music to choose from. Brett from 0 for 7 also told me that other acts may be interested so this list may grow much larger before we get ready to put together the soundtrack. All three acts are friends of mine so it's nice that even the music is keeping in theme of friendship. In the case of Kaare, I've known the guy since I was TWO, I think my mom has some adorable pictures of him from my third birthday party at McDonald's.

The script was completed Sunday morning, at least the first draft. Meaning we can start shooting as soon as I can get my cast together. I will be doing auditions for the character of Liz, who is the major female character and probably the most important piece of casting I will do in college. I'll be e-mailing several actresses from both Gigglepants and Madrigal to ask them to come on in and read with Ameer.

The pieces are coming together in pre-production. Now Quoc and I have to tear apart the script and see how the hell we're going to shoot this with no money and only weekends to spare. The excitement is building folks, stay tuned for more info.

And now to talk about the future...

I blog for both myself and my friends. There is also however a third audience. That audience is in fact history. I looked back at the previous 99 posts before writing this one, and it told the history of my sophomore year in college. From the last days in Cedar Point, to my brief infatuation with cast mates, to project after project after project, to success, to failure, and finally to hitting bottom. 11 months, 100 posts, all telling a story both intensely private and immediately public.

The next 100 posts will continue to be honest, introspective, and hopefully funny. The blog will be therapy, practice, and a sounding board for my thoughts. The great thing is I have no idea how many readers I have, either on facebook notes, or on the blog itself. That helps, not having to please anyone with what I write here.

I promise you to keep writing what I have always written, my life. No more, no less. Stay tuned, the next 100 are going to be fun.

SBTB "Friends Forever" (Facebook Link)

The 99th Post

From sub-urban Ohio.
Land of green grasses.
Where the neighbors water each others plants.
Comes...

Bits and Pieces
Chunky Edition

So I had been planning on writing this before LAST weekend, but I've been a little flustered with writing in general so I took some time off and worked on leveling up my World of Warcraft character. He's now a level 51 out of 70 and I should be ready to do some of the larger content in the game by the end of the summer, which was my goal.

Whenever I write a script I usually have a large break between the first half and the second half of writing. I run out of creative steam around the mid-point and I have to rethink things. I should be getting back to work real soon though and getting the first draft done. I plan on doing some rewrites before the summer is done and hopefully start shooting with a second draft script around September.

As for the untitled movie I will be announcing some MAJOR information about it on the 100th post. I've been talking to people over the past week, getting things in place, and I can say already we have stuff planned that is significantly larger than anything Quoc and I have done.

I've been home alone right now for about 11 days. The parents decided to enjoy a trip to Italy and I've been left with some food money and a daily list of things to do. Some days have been better than others. Like today I was feeling light headed for most of the day so I had to take an extra nap. I've also been trying to get a therapist set up here but they have been hard as hell to get them on the phone to set up an appointment. So right now the mental health situation is solid but not improving much.

Let me be more in depth. I'm feeling much more confident about how I am going to do next year when it comes to school and all that. I just wish I could continue the progress I made on identifying my core issues. I'm not a wreck folks, I'm just hoping to understand some things better. Why I do things, how I can do them better, that's all.

OH! Big important information! I have a new cell phone number, I'll put this on a separate note later but my new number is 419-619-6061. Please update your address books, or add it if you never bothered to call me ever. Also, and this is not a requirement but a request, I put up an honesty box on my facebook profile and nobody has put anything on mine yet. I pour my heart out for you folks, let's see a little payback.

Piracy! It's a good thing. The Xbox 360 may be banned from online play (not sure, don't want to find out) but the backups still work and the Wii just got a new modchip today! All is golden. I've been adding some new movies as well and with that 5.1 surround system I won I can play those downloaded movies on my TV finally. I've been also thinking about a movie night when I get back, how does this sound?

SCARY ASS SEQUEL NIGHT!
1) Hostel: Part 2 (Bootleged off of a Workprint copy)
2) Troll 2
3) Grease 2!!!!!!!

100th post this weekend. 1 Year Anniversary next month. The next post will be about my plans for life in the future. The 1 year anniversary will be about the past and history of my writing. Expect a gift in July.

And a final note. A political bits and pieces.

Harry Reid, I'm asking you to grow a pair. I know it may be hard, you are a career politician, but the people who gave you power told you pretty clearly why they gave you that power, to bring my friends home. Now, Mr. Reid, you should pay attention and start shaking things up. The people will support you if you decide to take the White House on so don't worry. Bring them home.

Musings From Austin Texas is not endorsing any presidential candidate right now, but we encourage whoever wins the nomination to add Bill Richardson as the Vice Presidential nominee. He has the most qualification of any candidate on either side of the race and he'd make the most powerful diplomat in a time in which we need to rediscover diplomacy. Obama/Richardson or Clinton/Richardson either way, we need that kind of experience in the White House.

That is all...

Free Bird (Link for Facebook Readers)

#98 is about the weight

288 Pounds

288 POUNDS!?!

This is horrible. I've spent almost two weeks at the biscuit factory sweating my butt off and I'm at 288. Which means I was probably close to 300 when I left college last month. No wonder some of my shirts were starting to not fit.

Folks, if you've ever wondered what hitting bottom looks like, keep reading this blog.

I have to rebuild so much in this next year. I have to rebuild my whole system of living, what I eat, how I study, how I deal with relationships and friendships. All these things need to be better because towards the end last semester they all started falling apart. I mean, here is what it comes down to. If I can't find a way to make myself happy, how in the world am I supposed to keep moving at this pace that I've set?

My mom and I (and my stepdad and my sister...) talked about how basically I've been relying on external praise and support almost solely. It's the "Actor's Drug" the need to feel loved by everyone at every time. It kinda makes since now looking back at how often I hogged the mic at film committee screenings. The approval of a crowd, it's the ultimate high. But I'm starting to realize that the external confidence started to replace the confidence I had inside of me. Now, there is very little left, and I'm stuck trying to getting more and more of it, stretching me to the limits.

Am I rambling yet?

Madrigal Night Live 2. I co-produced, I directed some shorts, I wrote some scripts, I acted in over half the sketches. I used to say that like it was a badge of honor, now I realize that I was trying to grab as much spotlight as I could get my hands on, my skin only felt warm underneath the glow of stage lighting. Jeez, writing this I realize how zealous I turned out to be.

I have to learn to love myself. I'll repeat. I have to learn to love myself.

AND I'VE GOT TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT :)

The 97th Post is about... The Woes of Biscuits

There are so many things I could be blogging about right now with summer starting up. But before I get into all of those and before I start planning the 100th post celebration. I thought I should talk about the current issue facing me.

My current job sucks.

It took a whole week to go through the hiring process and then when I arrived my first day they kept me in the break room for over an hour before sending me home. Apparently the job I signed up for is part of a temp agency and I'm starting to seriously doubt that I'll be able to make a 40hr/week job out of this. Therefore I sent in an application to a Blockbuster here in town and I'm hoping I can get hired by them real soon before my mom and I have a fist-fight.

The biscuit factory is cool and all and they have a nice shift and break schedule, but if I can't work for them full time then it's a waste of time. And lets face it, a film major with three years of customer service experience would fit MUCH better at a blockbuster than at a factory. Some of those people are creeeeepy.

In other news...

The untitled script now has a title and about five pages written. I'm now guessing the final script to be around 20 pages or so, probably less because I'm condensing a lot of the action writing and they'll end up being much larger on screen than on the page. I'm saving the title for the 100th post and I haven't e-mailed any pages because I want to finish the first act before I start giving it out. I also have the whole cast down in my head and I just need to lock them up. Including Ameer's love interest! That was by far the hardest casting I had to think of.

Get ready for more updates as soon as I hear from Blockbuster.

I'm such a tease.

What features a chase scene in a library...
A TA whose only goal is destruction...
A party scene shot using the state-of-the-art "Q" Cam...
And much much more?

You'll find out in 08'

"20-21" ( Temporary Title)
Starring Ameer Mobarak and Michael Domangue

The 95th Blog Post is About Nebraska

I just checked my stats and it looks like I am five posts away from 100. That one will be a doozy I promise you.

Now onto the meat.

In less than an hour I will be finally checked out of dobie and on my way towards I-35. The goal today is to make the 12-13 hour trip to Nebraska. If my car had a flux capaciter it would only increase the irony that yes, I am going back to the future.

Two years ago my only goal was escape, as quickly as possible. Now, on the verge of my return, my only goal is to see what fragments of my past are still there for me to witness. Most of my old friends will not see me, either by choice, by distance, or by inability to do so. So the landmarks will do most of the talking.

Maybe I'll see Spidey 3 at the theatre.
Maybe I'll stop by Sun Mart for the chicken strips.
Maybe I'll drive by AHS and thank Falter, Weiss, and Ms J.
Maybe I'll sit in the park, reminding myself of the No You concert that kicked off an amazing summer so many years ago

Can one, by returning to a place of both pain and pleasure find something in himself that he lost, or forgot? Whereas my days in Louisiana are but sugared memories, my memories of the midwest are still somewhat raw, still clouded by passions. Is there anything left in that town of 3,000 that can answer the question "Am I better now for having once been here?"

This day will bring a range of emotions. But if you see me around the streets of Auburn, Nebraska on Wednesday, understand I do not come to bury Bobby Bouche, I come here to praise him.

The digital middle finger

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

These magic hex numbers are the key to disabling DRM on HD-DVD's. Sites all around the internet are being forced to take down this number. Why is a number illegal?

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Spread the magic.
Fight the MPAA.

Going back

I'm not going to lie. The fact that I am giddy to return to Nebraska shocks me.

Positively giddy.

I get two chances a year to truly be free. Once in May, and once in August. Those times I pack up my car with all my important belongings and I drive. I drive by myself, with no concerns, no worries, no self-doubt, no thoughts about life outside the stretch of pavement ahead of me. These trips cleanse my soul, they are that good.

This year, having two past road trips go really well, I decided to plan something a little different. I'm taking four days this year. In these four days I travel from Austin to Lincoln, NE. From Lincoln to somewhere in Illinois. And from Illinois to Findlay, OH. It's a giant inverted L of a trip and it gives me a rare opportunity.

Reflection.

I haven't been in Lafayette more than an hour or two since December of 2001. That to me is one of my biggest regrets. Not being able to look back at my roots and see the spots that made me who I am. Now, for 24 hours, I get to go back to the state that changed my life forever. More importantly, I get to see the friends who I treasure. These guys were with me when I was snatching gold medals, and when I went through my darker days. Their support was key to me being able to last four years there.

Auburn High School

I am burning DVDs today with some of my favorite RTF shorts. I'm considering passing them out to some of my old AHS teachers. Falter would definitely be the first to get one. I'm even wanting to talk to Ms. Fuller. Just to say hi and maybe even apologize for some of my earlier missteps.

I even want some Cotty's burgers.

Politics

There was a time, back when I created this blog, when I thought that if I used this space to discuss things that weren't focused squarely on me, then I was doing the blog a disservice and would be going back to the fiery Michael of old. The Michael who ranted too much. But frankly I no longer feel content sitting on the sidelines of politics anymore. I spent four years worth of weekends talking about politics to whoever was unfortunate enough to get saddled with an extemp judge position. After those four years and an unpleasant experience with the Nebraska Young Democrats on the road in South Dakota, I decided to stay away from such issues.

That time of retreat is over. The time to feign ignorance or claim apathy is finished.

My generation, you have yet to take back the flag of resistance that your parents dropped when they began to purchase imported silk ties. Take a look at the situation around you. Our president is now at about a 37% approval rating. That means that all he has left is the hardcore of the hardcore. Nobody is acting like we are protecting America anymore. All we are doing in Iraq is proving to ourselves that nobody likes to read history. And I'm here to warn you folks, even Nixon ran on a "disengagement" platform.

The leaders of this country understand that as long as the draft is not on the table that we as a generation will not have the willpower to fight them. Nothing makes someone say "Cut and Run" faster than a kid who just found out that he may not get the chance to flip burgers five miles from his mom's house.

I am going to include three videos here. Two are from a McCain interview on The Daily Show that was quite disheartening to watch and the other is a link to a video from MSNBC about fear mongering.

Click here for the MSNBC clip

Click here for the Daily Show Interview

Blogging On A Budget

When you can't afford those damn full size blog posts...

BITS AND PIECES

I'm listening to "Jungleland" by The Boss right now and I have to say, nobody sings and epic like Bruce Springsteen sings an epic. Damn!

I'm deciding that I need one more solid semester here at UT before I think I can turn the corner. By turn the corner I mean reach a place where I can begin to fix some problems that have been bugging me for over a decade and I didn't even realize it. I've got so much baggage I don't even know where's the best place to unpack it.

Would you like to hear a bombshell?

I went in for counseling last week. I had spent a whole day on my bed last week and I realized I was hitting some sort of psychological bottom and I needed to change some things. I went in on Friday and after talking for about an hour I realize that at the core of all of my problems right now is a massive case of self-doubt. I think I can trace all my issues to the fact that I am my own worst critic, that the person who I've been thinking of conspiracy theories about is me. I'm going to work on a several-stage routine to try and break down some issues and work on rebuilding my self-esteem. I'm not promising a "New Michael" come this fall. I'm promising a work-in-progress.

I got an amazing letter today from a good friend from my middle school days. She wrote about a couple of things but she also mentioned an appreciation for my writings and it really gave me the boost to do some fiction writing today.

So I normally announce projects before I start working on them but today I have the fortune to announce a project after writing 25% of it!

"The Last Days in Georgia" is a short story with three chapters and a prologue. It deals with a powerful man and the regrets he faces in the last days of his life. I'm trying to keep things vague and the prologue will not explain one lick of the rest of the story but I beg you to stick with it and continue to read the blog as I release the story in bits here and there when I have them ready. The prologue will go up later tonight if I can get one person to read it first.

The YouTube video will show one influence on the story, it by no means is a hint on the content.

A somber tone...

April 20th, 1999
September 11th, 2001
April 16th 2007

I remember these days. They are burned in my head as much as they are in the people in my same age range. I remember where I was, what I did, the locations are vivid, the aftermath clear. These are not days that I want to mark in the mental diary that I keep, but I must, I must hold on to those memories, if only to remind me of the precious nature of life, the fragility, and to understand the unpredictability of our road to the future.

My heart goes out deeply to all of those who have been affected by these events. My heart goes out even more to those my age, whose life is forever altered because of three hellish hours.

***************

The mourning must not be interrupted by those who seek to try and find a "Cause." A cause to these people is simply something to blame. Let people bury the dead, treat the wounded, reflect, and then, and only then, should you start looking at how this can happen. Don't let this become another columbine where the 24-hour media decided that music, movies, and video games caused a massacre.

***************

I heard people asking why, how can somebody do this? The answer is not easy to hear but we must accept the fact that people get left behind. People who have problems, who lose the ability to ask for help, who get lost in the shuffle, and who get caught in a cycle of hatred and detachment and then begin to believe that they do not have the problem, the world around them is the problem. This is a truly catastrophic combination of circumstances. It doesn't happen often, and it isn't easy to see, and frankly I wouldn't begin to offer a solution to this problem. But we must understand that inside of a human lies the ability to do great good, and great evil.

***************
I would like to lighten the mood with a YouTube video, but I can't. What I am going to do is show an example of context. On Saturday, this video was funny.



Today, it's not. The context of comedy is so fickle.

I feel like George Bush

I don't get the American people.

The box office numbers just came in for Grindhouse on Friday and they are bad.

Like "Hey Hey You You I Don't Like Your Girlfriend" bad.

$5 Million on Friday means that Grindhouse is now officially the biggest bomb for these two directors since "Four Rooms." And I don't get it. Don't you people like explosions and violence and cars and women? Weren't these movies designed for MASS POPCORN CONSUMPTION? And yet outside of Austin, NYC, LA, and other metros this movie probably died a quick death. And it boggles my mind.

Grindhouse is a Texas movie. If this movie had a belt buckle it would be the size of my head. Seeing Shiner and the Alamo Drafthouse on the big screen brought a smile to my face. This double feature was a damn fine three hours and now I feel like I'm going to have to pitch this movie in ten years instead of sharing quotes from it. It's disheartening. Catch it on sunday folks, encourage good Austin cinema or you won't have it anymore.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Jeez, folks. So, Like get this

i was reading some my girlz myspaces and like, these ho's dont know NEthing. talking bout MM (thast modest mouse for all you noods out their) and they think float on was the best song EVER!!

bullshite teeheeheehee

float on is so mainstream it mights as wel wear extensions. LIke I was a MM fan BEFORE float on was on MTV, back when it played on FUSE. FUSE FTW! these biches actg all hardcore but they need to shut their traps and get in line, maybe get a xanga LOLROFTLOMG!

anywho, does anyone wanna chill out at the hot topic??????!!!!! i am like soooo needing a nirvana T right now its not EVEn funny!!!

Hey Sis! And In Other Words...

It's time for everyone's favorite variety of bite-sized blogging goodness.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present...

Bits and Motherf'in Pieces

My blogging software got an unexpected upgrade when I rebooted Firefox today. Its parent company got axed so it changed from Performancing to ScribeFire. Oooohhh... ScribeFire. I like it!

The vacation has been refreshing so far. I've gotten plenty of good advice from a range of people and I think I know where I went wrong and where I want to improve if given the chance to interview for the film chair position again. I no longer believe I was purposefully humbled, but it did anyway. I'm actually typing up my concepts for ideas to move the committee forwards.

Hey Sis! Thanks for reading the blog but I'm not upset.

Two post-MNL projects lined up right now. Me and Quoc will be working on concepts for a music video and I am prepping concepts for a project that I will only call "The Ohio Project."

"The Ohio Project" is an interesting idea that I've been toying around with for awhile but the actual plot of the project just came to me a few days ago. In order for it to work I'm going to have to master a type of shot that Quoc and I have never even attempted. The story is simple, but as well, I've never written anything like this before. The whole point of this project is to get out of my comfort zone.

When I do some proof of concept shots I'll release them as a teaser for the complete project but I think I would like to write some of the script down before I go yapping about it anymore.

That's all for today. Here's a solo in dedication to my new favorite video game. The Godfather for Wii

Decisions...

I fight for what I love.

If one thing stays constant in my life it is the above statement. That part of me never changes, no matter how "mature" or "responsible" I become. I fight for the things that I love.

I had a talk today with the president-elect of the SEC. I did not talk to Ameer sadly. Ameer was not allowed to talk, so instead I was told by the president-elect that I was not chosen because the decision makers did not want to fill the position. There are a million ways to take this statement and if I wanted to I could choose to form a conspiracy theory that would make all those area 51 and WTC 7 guys look like suits. But here is how I am going to take it...

I was humbled today.

I was brought down a notch because for the past year I believed a chair position was waiting for me. Most people around me would agree that my position all along was not if I was going to be chair but what chair would I run for. This assumption of mine was never questioned. It was questioned today.

So now I go back to the drawing board. Tonight I am going to watch Big Fish, but not as a member of the film committee. I'm going to wait in line and flash my student ID because for the next week I am not going to be a part of the SEC. There is no other way to put this, this is 50% whiny-boy protest and 50% head-cleaning time. I can't separate the two from each other. When I return next Thursday I will apply, once more, for the position of film chair. To all of you reading this, I would appreciate if more film committee members with strong ideas run for the chair position. There's a good four or five of you who have the ability there to be a great chair.

I told the president-elect that today I felt like I was dumped. I still have that feeling. I haven't had a dry eye all day and it's starting to hurt. But, in spite of it all, I love film, I love the film committee, I love the people who make up the SEC, and because of that love, I'm going to fight to keep it.

While I'm on the subject of love...

I rarely do this, and I really should do more of it in case she forgets.

I declare my love for you Megan, and I declare my intent to keep on fighting for that love.

Taking a vacation

I'm just letting all of you know that I will be taking a one week break from my SEC duties starting immediately. The reason for this is probably already spreading around so I find no need to bring it up here. I will be back in the office next Thursday and at that point I will have a decision on my future with the organization.

It brings me no happiness to say these things, it brings no relief as well. I've been holding back tears for two hours right now and I just need to take some well-deserved time off to figure things out.