Angel... indeed

I'm feeling multiple waves of feelings right now and I thought I try to share some of them.

Angel Pedraza, one of my three roommates in my freshman year, passed away. This by itself would be shocking and heartbreaking. What adds to this is that he passed in March of this year. And I found out today.

I don't know how to react. Of course there is feelings of sadness, feelings of loss. Angel was a fellow RTF major and I always thought we'd patch things up and work on a project together down the line. You would like everything to nicely wrapped up when you lose someone but Angel and I were quite distant last year, and now I feel regret that we couldn't patch things up. We were all very different people in that dorm room, and we were all adapting to college life.

And then there's shock. Shock that the word never reached me. That I had to learn off of the Austin Film Society website when trying to apply for an internship. I can't believe that with the number of mutual friends that we made over freshman year that not one would contact me. I didn't read about it in the news, I didn't hear any notice of it through UT. You think the University would inform former roommates if an enrolled student passed away. I'm really upset that I had to learn this way. I'm partly to blame, I'll admit, having not keeping in touch with him, but I still wish I had known sooner.

Life, as you learn over and over again, is a fragile thing. If I ask one thing from you, is to find someone who you may have fallen out with, and see how they are doing, you don't always get the chance to.

R.I.P Angel, I will miss you.

Two posts for the price of one.

For some reason the last post I did never made it on facebook. No bother, this one should be short and sweet.

I just took a look at the wedding photos from Travis and Amy's wedding and I just gotta say that it looked amazing. Thanks Vivi for taking such great shots, you all looked fantastic and I just love seeing the whole gang together looking super snazzy. I really need to stop leaving Austin for the summer because you guys go out and do plays and get married and I'm stuck washing fig stains out of my factory outfit. I should be back in about 40-50 days give or take and I can't wait to see you all again.

On a similar note getting Mario back in the fall is like having your favorite character of a TV show leave and then come back a few seasons later. I miss the fella and I can't wait to go back, lose ten bucks a week, and return to the ballroom. I truly believe this upcoming semester will be my best 4 months of my life, that's my goal at least.

In other news.

E3 is back, and it's much much smaller. But that hasn't stopped my heart from getting caught in my throat after all the announcements. I won't go into detail here but let me just give you a quick top five list.

5. GTA IV
I first got my grnadmother to buy GTA III and I've been addicted ever since.
4. Halo 3
Do I have to say anything.
3. WiiFit
Should go well with the diet cola and diet pills I'll be taking in the fall
2. Super Smash Brothers Wii
You haven't lived til you've played a 99 life match
1. ROCK BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111ZOMG
Downloadable Songs, Who's Next, Drums and a Mic, this game may just own my soul.

Expect a bigger post this weekend. I got a surprise for you.

A Quick One While He's Away (Facebook Link)

Sleep, it's optional

I can't really seem to hit the sack right now so I thought I would talk to you folks a little bit about dating.

It seems to me that I should have fully moved on by now and have at least made a passing attempt at starting a relationship. I've been single since January of 06'. Making this probably the longest stretch since middle school that I haven't been dating. I think 18 months is long enough to start getting back into the game huh?

I realize that the fact that I've had confidence issues has turned a quite a few people off. I understand being a guy who is prone to instances of both extreme self-doubt and delusions of grandeur is not in any way an attractive quality. However, I am confident that I am fixing these problems. Come next fall it will be interesting to see how I handle trying to get back on the market.

I often wonder about the mistakes I made in past relationships. I've probably monday-morning quarterbacked every single one, trying to find an answer to a question that has eluded people far smarter than me. Fear plays a part, fear of intimacy, fear of controlling or being controlled. I think it may all come down to the simple fact that if you don't have your act together, how are you supposed to handle the weight of two becoming one?

Mimi, in RENT, said that she was "looking for baggage that goes with mine." When you can find someone who can begin to understand where you are coming from, it makes the future journey so much easier. I think next time, I'll start by looking for matching baggage.

Love Heals (Facebook Link)

Do you care? Do you think you care?

Live 8
Live Aid
Farm Aid
Live Earth
Live Farm the 8 Earth's Aid

I don't mean to dismiss the contributions to society that these mega-concerts do but it does say something about our culture that we consider the best way to discuss global warming is to wrap the message around massive concerts. Even the future of our planet has to have some entertainment damnit!

I finally am encourage by my generation. We got this massive influx of technology at a very young age and now we're finally starting the baby step towards using it for good and not just porn and music downloads. We're starting the inevitable war against our parents' generation and we really have only one person to thank for our increasing awareness.

George W. Bush

I used to defend Bush. Back in high school I was of the opinion that he was unfairly picked on and he was stuck in a situation that no one could have done better in. Now, I honestly think anyone in the SEC office could run the country better than him. Along with Mr. "What Branch Am I Again?" Cheney he has managed to unite almost the whole country AGAINST him. I thought it would take a draft to unite the youth movement, but all he needed to do was put MY friends and many other people's friends, neighbors, and siblings in harm's way for no clear goal and no positive outcome. When I read about those we lose in war it makes me want to work hard to make sure the rest of them get home safe. Thank you Mr. Bush, for proving me wrong and getting gen Y to work.

In other news...

The counseling is going amazing well. We're getting to the core issues and I'm already starting to see improvements in how I deal in crowds. The next few sessions should continue to show progress and I'm really hopeful that I will not have the problems I had last year pop back up again.

The script is now in it's third revision (currently 2nd Draft 2nd Revision.) I think we should have the script locked by August 1st so I can send out feelers for casting before I even reach Austin. My plan is to start shooting at the SEC office almost right out of the gate so we can build momentum for the harder shooting later on. Other than that no real tidbits on that project. Though don't be surprised if you see a new YouTube video before leaving Ohio.

Write on my Honesty Box folks. It might brighten up a bad day, you never know.

Sunny Hours (Facebook Link)