Monday, July 09, 2007

Sleep, it's optional

I can't really seem to hit the sack right now so I thought I would talk to you folks a little bit about dating.

It seems to me that I should have fully moved on by now and have at least made a passing attempt at starting a relationship. I've been single since January of 06'. Making this probably the longest stretch since middle school that I haven't been dating. I think 18 months is long enough to start getting back into the game huh?

I realize that the fact that I've had confidence issues has turned a quite a few people off. I understand being a guy who is prone to instances of both extreme self-doubt and delusions of grandeur is not in any way an attractive quality. However, I am confident that I am fixing these problems. Come next fall it will be interesting to see how I handle trying to get back on the market.

I often wonder about the mistakes I made in past relationships. I've probably monday-morning quarterbacked every single one, trying to find an answer to a question that has eluded people far smarter than me. Fear plays a part, fear of intimacy, fear of controlling or being controlled. I think it may all come down to the simple fact that if you don't have your act together, how are you supposed to handle the weight of two becoming one?

Mimi, in RENT, said that she was "looking for baggage that goes with mine." When you can find someone who can begin to understand where you are coming from, it makes the future journey so much easier. I think next time, I'll start by looking for matching baggage.

Love Heals (Facebook Link)

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