Sunday, March 04, 2007

One Week Left

Till I become a twenty-something.


This whole identity-crisis funk I've had this semester is I think in part because of this concern over the switch from a teenager to something, older. It's the classic issue I've faced over how much to rebel and how much to go with it. I think I'm starting to reach a point where I can look at myself and go "Damn, I can actually grow up to be a leader."

One day last year, during my first Madrigal Dinner, Travis interviewed me about a leadership project he was working on and the one thing I can remember telling him is that I didn't have any desire to be a leader, as long as I didn't have to be a follower. It was the truth at the time, but times change, and with it visions of the future.

I really want to get this film chair position. I really want to bring to film a closer connection to the bloodstream of Austin film, something that I've only observed in these 2 years but where I hope to eventually end up in. I want to continue to get bigger and better with my projects. I have to continue to write material, in the hopes that sooner or later, I can catch a break on something.

This is the crossroads folks, growing up is hard, even harder when you think that part of who you are should be immune to growth. I've created this persona of being the eccentric fat kid who wants to rebel against it all and be "himself." But as all person's are, it's 50% truth and 50% bullshit.

In twenty years, the 39 year old Michael Domangue is going to look back on the 19 year old Michael Domangue and wonder why the hell he took this turn when he did, and he'll hate the 19 year old. But you know what...

Screw the 39 year old.

I have a life to live now. And I'm going to love it.

Thanks to Katherine for the amazing CD she sent as a birthday present. It helped a lot today.

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