I'm not going to cry.

I REFUSE TO BE BUMMED!

I REFUSE TO GO BACK IN MY SHELL!

I REFUSE TO GIVE UP HOPE!

I REFUSE TO ADMIT DEFEAT!

I REFUSE TO BLAME OTHERS!

I REFUSE TO BLAME!

I REFUSE TO CRY!

How do things like this happen? Miscommunication. That's how things like this happen. The male ear is not designed to pick up subtle hints. I have just been told by BLANK that she doesn't want a relationship now, but dating is okay.

I'm fine with that. It just means that she needs time. Cool by me, I've been in those situations before where I needed time by myself, where dating was out of the question. Why is this not extremely bad news?

I asked her if the door on relationships was closed for now or closed for good. She responded with the former which means one thing to me.

No friend zone.

Here's what concerned me. If she didn't want a relationship now (which isn't what I was shooting for now, just dating) maybe that meant that she didn't want a relationship with me ever. That means I've entered the friend zone. Which would have killed me.

I've gotten into that zone too many times. Stuck talking to a girl years after confessing to her I had feelings, the deep awkwardness, the sadness that comes with knowing you want to hold someone and knowing they didn't feel the same in return.

I don't think I'm in that same boat here. I think there IS a chance later on that we will have a relationship, and that we can still talk now knowing that the door hasn't been locked so I can still be comfortable around her and not be uber-depressed.

Friday's date is still on and I think this subject might come up again but I feel as if I am not destroyed by this update. If anything, it tells me right up front that she needs time and I WANT to give her time.

But I'm not giving up on her.

I WILL CONTINUE TO YEARN!

I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAISE!

I WILL CONTINUE TO HOPE!

I WILL CONTINUE TO POST SAPPY YOUTUBE VIDEOS!

I WILL CONTINUE TO FIGHT!

Until BLANK is ready.